did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
