dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
