Pappa wants mamma naked
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
