Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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