What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize