Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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