shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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