At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize