So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize
