I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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