I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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