Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
