Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
