I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
