I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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