hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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