His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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