It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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