i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
