Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
