You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
