so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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