Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
