Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize