Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
