I swear she didn't look like that last week.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
