This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
