everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
MIDGETS
????
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
