honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize