My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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