I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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