your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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