And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize