she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
