Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Randomize
