Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
