friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
