I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
