FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
