You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
