Why are handjobs necessary in class?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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