Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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