I would go down on you faster than GM stock
where does the pee come out of this thing
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
