So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
