Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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