Sry I called you an 8
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
