Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
