i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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