How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
