listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
