oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
