At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
