Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Where is the hickey?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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