That's intense
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
