I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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