I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
