You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
