well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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