I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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