you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
