I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize