while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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