operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
