I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
