I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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