Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
