I'm really into asian looking animals
that's an acceptable place to lick
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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