So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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