i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
