why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
