You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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