took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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