ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize