I think my vagina is haunted
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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